The Lies We Tell to Keep People Safe
by blondierocket
Summary: Brenda returns to Port Charles upon hearing of Emily's death, and changes the course of her life and others.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So I started this long enough ago that more has happened. So take a few steps back to when Emily died, and this is my version. It's been a lot harder to finish than I expected because now as GH progresses in its own storyline, I start coming up with new ways to introduce Brenda back into Port Charles. Stay with me on this.

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**One**

She leaned against her car and stared up at the house. She once called it home. She had her own room. She had a real family there. Today it was dark, even with the sun out at the highest point in the sky. She needed to be strong before she walked inside. She wasn't there for herself. She was there for them.

She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans and in her black pointed pumps, she took a deep breath and heading for the front door. It opened before she even reached the stairs.

"I was wondering how long you were going to stand out there before you came inside," Ned said with half a smile, arms folded across his chest.

"I was thinking about the first home cooked meal cook made me when I came to live here," Brenda responded, lifting her sunglasses to the top of her dark brown locks.

Ned wrapped his arms around her, kissed her hairline, and sighed. He had a feeling she might just show up without much of a notice. As far as he knew, no one had a chance to call her. But she knew.

"It's freezing out here. Come inside," he said taking her hand and bringing her up the rest of the stairs, closing the door behind them. He helped her off with her coat and hung it on the rack, before squeezing her hand. "Ready?" he asked looking into her already red rimmed eyes.

"I'm never ready for this," she said.

"Grandfather, Monica," Ned said walking into the room. "Someone's here to see you."

Brenda couldn't smile and laugh seeing them again after so long. It would be a long time before any of them could laugh again.

"Oh my dear, Brenda," Edward said as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I knew you would come."

She nodded slowly as he pulled away and tried to keep her tears to herself. She would have time to grieve when she was alone. She had no words for Monica. What do you say to a woman who just lost her baby girl? She hugged her. She wished she could take some of the pain away. Monica was like her surrogate mother, she always took care of her. Now, Brenda got to take care of her.

"Monica, I am so sorry," Brenda whispered. "If there's anything you need…" she started but Monica shook her head.

"No. We've made all the arrangements. The funeral will be in a couple days." She sat down on the couch and Brenda sat down next to her. "Edward had Alice make your room up. He said he had a feeling you would show up."

"Thank you. Have you slept at all?" Brenda asked Monica.

"Not in the past two days," Edward answered before Monica could lie.

"Why don't you go upstairs and lie down and rest? I'm here to help, so let me help," Brenda suggested. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

Monica nodded, agreeing to rest and left the room.

"Thank you," Edward said taking Brenda's hand. "No one else has been able to convince her to rest. She's been so distraught. Between Emily and Jason. The family is falling to pieces."

"What do you mean, Jason?" Brenda asked standing up and shooting a glance to Ned.

"Monica blames Jason for what happened. The police are saying that a mob boss named Anthony Zacchara strangled Emily and killed her. He was after Sonny and Jason and their families," Ned told her.

"You know Jason loved Emily very much. She was his baby sister. He would never let anything happen to her," Brenda defended.

"We know that. But Monica is hurting and she's angry. She needs someone to blame," Ned continued. "She won't let him come to the funeral."

Brenda looked between the two strong men before walking out of the room, grabbing her jacket and leaving the house. Jason didn't consider the Quartermaine's family, but in a time of need they were always there. Now that Emily was dead, their last chance at keeping him close was disappearing and they just left him in the cold. There was no way to know what he was feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Two**

"Will you just talk to me?" Elizabeth asked seeing Jason standing by the windows. He still hadn't told her everything that happened when he broke the news to Monica. All she knew was that he was in more pain than ever before. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he said. "You should probably get back to the boys. Spend some time with them."

"Jake would want to see his daddy," she said with half a smile.

"It's not a good idea right now."

"Do you think that Zacchara or Trevor Lansing are still a risk?" she asked.

"You can never be too sure." He looked away from the window finally when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Elizabeth offered walked over. She never expected to find what she did.

Brenda had thought of every possible way to start a conversation with him on the elevator ride up. They hadn't spoken since he dropped her off at the airport for Europe. He sent her money occasionally which she put into a safe deposit box in Switzerland and never touched again. One day there would be a reason or a use for all of it. Today it seemed fitting for a tribute to Emily.

She knocked on the door to the penthouse, brushed the hair out of her eyes and tried to think of the most fitting thing to say to a man whose sister just died. Nothing came to mind. She heard the footsteps and then the door opened. She fought the urge to smile and say surprise which was easy seeing the woman on the other side.

"Brenda?" Elizabeth asked opening the door wider as she walked in, looking like she just stepped off the runway. She saw Jason standing across the room. He looked at her, not quite as shocked as she thought he would be.

"Hi," she said.

She expected to find him alone or with Sonny, but not with Elizabeth Spencer of all people. She was right at home opening his door and everything, something Jason never let her do.

She stood awkwardly in the front entrance. Anything she had to say to Jason disappeared from her mind. No one understood their relationship. No one knew he sent her money even though she didn't need it.

Ignoring the fact that Elizabeth was eying her with curiosity, she gained her composure quickly and walked towards him, her heels clicking on the door. He refused to look at her once she stopped at the windows near him.

"I came as soon as I heard," she whispered. "Ned told me about Monica. Jason, I'm so sorry," she said. She could feel the tears starting to rise. She touched his arm and he finally looked at her. His eyes were red. He was fighting back his tears just as much as she was. "This is not your fault," she told him.

"Yes it is," he said.

Elizabeth wanted to go to him. She wanted to help ease his pain. She wanted to hold him. But somehow, Brenda beat her to it. She was in the one in Jason's arms. Brenda was the one he was leaning to at that moment. She wasn't sure if she should leave or stay and wait until the moment passed.

"You know where to find me," Brenda whispered slowly pulling away from him. She wiped the few tears she let fall on her own cheeks before reaching up and touching his. "She was my sister too," Brenda reminded him before dropping her hand and backing away from him.

She didn't say anything to Elizabeth as she left. The visit was quicker than expected, but really she had no idea what to expect. Nothing in Port Charles turns out the way you want it to.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Three**

"What are you doing up?" Ned asked walking into the den to find Brenda sitting in a chair, lit only by a small light in the corner.

"I'm still on Europe time," she said brushing away the tears on her cheek.

"Are you okay?" he asked leaning against the desk next to her.

"Yeah. Just winding down," she said holding up a glass filled with golden fluid. "Edward let me into his private stash."

"Aren't you special?" He actually got a little smile out of her. "I know you're trying to be really strong for Monica but no expects you to keep it all in."

"I know."

"You have your own share of grieving you need to take care of."

"Trust me, I got a lot out in Europe before I got here. Monica needs someone to be strong. Edward can try but Emily meant everything to this family. Just like Lila passing, it will take a long time for things to return to normal."

"I know. In the meantime, let me worry about you."

"I'm fine. Tired for traveling. Worried about Jason. I think I might try and see Robin tomorrow. I don't know if I want to go to the hospital though." Brenda sighed and took a sip out of her glass.

"I called Lois," Ned told her in the silence.

"She called me. That's how I knew. Word travels fast."

"She said she would try to make it in time for the funeral. Sends her love," Ned told her.

"That's what Lois is good at. I haven't seen her in so long. She gave me the silent treatment for a few days when she found out I was 'alive'," she said using quotations. "But eventually got over it."

"Lois never could stay mad at you long." They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Brenda staring into her glass, Ned watching her. "I'm going to go back upstairs. If you need anything, come find me," he said kissing the top of her head as she nodded before walking out.

She was starting to feel numb. Emily would be the last person she would ever wish such tragedy to fall upon. She was never supposed to get involved in the mob war. She was supposed to become a mother and brilliant doctor.

Brenda finished her drink and set the empty glass back on the bar with some other dirty dishes. She wasn't even close to being tired. She hadn't been tired in days, but no one needed to know that. She slipped on a light jacket, despite the cold temperatures, and quietly slid out of the house. She was such Ned probably heard her leave and was smart enough to guess where she may be going.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Four**

General Hospital was quiet. No other major emergencies in the middle of the night. She checked her watch. It was nearly 3am. Tomorrow she would fight through the jet lag, maybe get a quick nap if she was lucky. The sun would be coming up in London. People would be getting ready for work, having breakfast, sending their kids off to school.

The nurse's station was empty, but she knew where she was going. The hallway was lightly lit, nothing too bright so the patients could sleep. She still hated hospitals. Too many visits, too many people she knew that were dying or injured. She stopped outside the open doorway to his room. He was asleep.

What did she feel for him today? Anger, pity, sadness, hope.

She slid a Polaroid photo out of her pocket and brushed her fingers over Emily's face. She remembered that say so well. The photo shoot in Central Park. While Brenda and Jax had a private moment, the make-up artist tended to Emily and her photographer took some photos of her to take home and remember. It was their girl's vacation. Her and Robin and Emily. All of them had been so happy. Things were really good then.

"Visiting hours are over," Patrick said walking up to her making her jump a little.

"I know," Brenda whispered taking a look at Sonny lying helpless hooked up the all the machines. "I just wanted to leave this," she said hesitating briefly before stepping into the room, walking to the bedside table, and propping the photo up next to a lamp. She resisted the urge to run her fingers through his hair or touch his hand.

"Do you know Sonny?" Patrick asked her as she walked out of the room.

"I used to," she said slowly walking back down the hall.

"Patrick Drake," he said holding out his hand with a smile.

"Brenda," she said shaking his hand, but no smile.

"I thought you looked familiar. I've heard a lot about you," he said. She stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked at him curiously. "Robin and I used to date."

"That's right. Sorry, it's been a long night," she said.

"It's pretty late, or early, depending on how you look at it," he reminded her.

"I just flew in from London. I haven't adjusted to the time yet," she told him as she started back down the hall towards the elevators.

"Does Robin know you're here?" he asked once they reached the nurse's station.

"I've been with family all day. I was going to call her tomorrow."

"Hold that thought," he said. "Stay right here." He disappeared down the opposite hall. Brenda leaned against the nurse's station wall and put her hands in her coat pockets. She wasn't standing alone in the silence for long.

"Patrick, what's so important? I was having a dream that this whole nightmare never happened. I wish I could return," Robin complained pulling her hair into a pony tail.

"Nurse's station," he said as they rounded the corner.

Robin and Brenda's eyes met and both of them almost started to cry instantly. Brenda walked over to her and they hugged for a long time, like they hadn't seen each other since high school.

"I can't believe you're here," Robin said pulling back.

"Me either," Brenda said. They walked over to the couches and sat down.

For the first time in a long time, Patrick felt like he helped Robin, gave her something she really needed.

"What are you doing here so early?" Robin asked.

"Couldn't sleep. The house was so quiet," Brenda said leaning back against the couch. "Why aren't you at home in your own bed?"

"We've been busy with the whole black and white ball mess. One of our nurse's was shot. Emily. Monica taking time. We're short staffed. Patrick and I have offered to work some extra shifts. I wanted to make sure I would have time off for the funeral. It was the least I could do."

"What happened at the ball?" Brenda asked, leaning forward to listen to her friend.

"This madman named Anthony Zacchara snuck onto the island and started attacking people. Emily was the only one who died, but I guess they now thing there were two killers, plus a bunch of shooters. Leyla was shot. Sonny was shot. Ric Lansing was stabbed. Luke had a heart attack. Tracey was pushed down a flight of stairs. Nikolas was beat up pretty bad. Alexis ended up with appendicitis. Carly was strangled and almost died …" Robin trailed off at the half smile that started across Brenda's face.

"There is nothing wrong about being happy that she almost died. She's trouble," Brenda said.

"I know. The point is, within an hour of the ball starting a storm came through and stranded everyone. If Jason hadn't shown up when he did, it could have been a lot worse. More people could have ended up dead."

"But you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Exhausted, but fine. How long as you in town for?" Robin asked. Brenda shrugged. "Long enough for the funeral and then escape without anyone noticing?"

"I don't know about that. It's been a rough year on the family. I'll stay as long as I'm needed." Brenda glanced at her watch then back at her friend. "I should go. Edward's going to wonder where I am for breakfast."

They stood up and hugged.

"So I'll see you at the funeral?" Robin asked.

"You can see me sooner than that," Brenda said with a smile before walking to the elevators.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Five**

Jason walked into Sonny's hospital room. He needed to get out of his own place, away from Spinelli, away from reminders. If he knew Sonny, he was probably feeling the same way about his hospital room. He was surprised to find him not only sitting still, but not arguing with anyone.

"What's up?" Jason asked walking in. "I got your message."

Sonny held out the Polaroid photo to him. "Did you leave this here?" he asked. Jason shook his head as he looked at the unfamiliar photo of his sister. "Is this something I should be worried about?" Sonny asked.

"I don't think so."

"Jason, someone came into my room in the middle of the night and left a really old photo of Emily. One that neither of us has ever seen. Zacchara may be gone, but that doesn't mean there isn't a threat."

"Your job right now is to get better so you can go see your boys. Let me worry about this," Jason said.

"So you think there could be reason to think something else is going on?" Sonny questioned as Kate walked into the room.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing. Get Sonny to relax," Jason said.

"Easier said than done," she said with a smile squeezing his hand.

"I'll take care of this, Sonny."

"I want to know as soon as you know something," Sonny told him.

Jason just nodded as he walked out. He looked down at the photo. He was glad to run into Robin at that moment.

"Hey," she said with a smile. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Were you on shift last night?" he asked.

"Yeah. All night. I think I'm going on 24 hours straight," she said crossing her arms. "What's up?"

"Someone was in Sonny's room last night. Left a photo," he said holding it out for her to look at.

Robin smiled but didn't say anything.

"Do you recognize it?" he asked finally.

She nodded slowly. "I remember this day. Brenda and I took Emily with us to New York for a photo shoot. It was before things went really bad. Before Brenda's mother came back, before she thought she was sick, before she died." Robin's smile faded slowly. "Emily was so excited that Brenda let her in on the photo shoot. She got to be famous for a day."

"Who took the photo?" he asked.

"I don't know. Brenda's photographer." Robin handed the photo back to him. "This was left in Sonny's room?" she asked.

"Brenda left it, didn't she?"

Robin shrugged. "She was here last night but whether or not she left the photo … I wasn't with her the whole time."

Jason nodded and put the photo into his jacket pocket.

"You know she's in town right?" Robin asked. He nodded. "Have you seen her?"

"She came by the penthouse yesterday. It was a short visit."

"Not to put any scenarios into your head, but I'm guessing Brenda left the photo. I don't know where she was when Patrick ran into her, but my guess is she went to see Sonny, wanted to leave a piece of her behind without actually announcing her presence." Jason didn't say anything. "She may not admit it, but she's taking this really hard. Emily was like her baby sister. She was extremely protective of her growing up. She only wanted to best for her. She also doesn't want to be here, another thing she won't admit."

"Why? One of Brenda's favorite pastimes is annoying the people of Port Charles."

"Let's just say Brenda's changed. She's not the same carefree, whimsical, woman you married. She doesn't need help and she doesn't ask for it. She's rock solid ¾ of the time."

"I'm not surprised. Living in Port Charles alone can do that to you." Jason looked up at her. "Thanks. I'll see you around."

Jason walked off. It didn't surprise him much that it was Brenda who left the photo. It was actually the first thought he had when Sonny showed it to him. If he had the energy he would drive over the Quartermaine's and argue with her over why it was so wrong for her to go see Sonny and especially leave little hints under the circumstances. But he knew he probably wouldn't get through the gates.


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Six**

Brenda leaned back against the wooden chair, wrapped in the warmest blanket she could find, and watched the sun rise on the patio above Lila's rose garden. She was glad no one was awake yet. She enjoyed the silence. It gave her time to think about her own thoughts, figure out her own feelings.

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing." Ned asked walking out, wrapping his arms tightly around his body.

"Watching the sun rise," she commented nonchalantly.

"You can see it rise inside where it's warm."

"But it's not the same when you can't feel the warmth as the rays caress your body with every inch it rises." She lifted a coffee mug to her lips and sipped. "It's like drinking a cup of coffee when you're freezing. You can feel the heat soak into your blood and your body just has this overwhelming warmth. Even if only for a second. Sunrises in the winter feel the same way."

He eyed her curiously before sitting down on the arm of the chair and despite the cold, watched silently with her as the sun appeared on the horizon. She wasn't kidding. For a brief few seconds he felt the warmth cover his body before the sun was revealed completely and the heat died.

"Did you feel it?" she asked.

"Yeah, I felt it," he said. "Now let's go back inside," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the chair. "Grandfather will get very upset if you get sick."

"I'll be fine," she said as they walked back inside.

"What are your plans for the day?" Ned asked her sitting down on the couch. She shrugged. "Really? The one and only Brenda Barrett has no plans for a whole day. No shopping?"

"It seems so insignificant right now," she commented sitting down in the chair next to Ned. "It's strange not having anything to do, but nothing sounds even remotely worth attempting."

"We can go out to lunch. Ice skating?" he suggested.

"I wish the studio was still here. I wish there was a record or a concert I could be focusing on right now."

"Somewhere there is. All you have to do is call Lois." Brenda didn't say anything as she drank her coffee. Finally she looked up at Ned.

"Do you want to go for a run?" she asked.

"In the cold?"

"Yes. It will awaken your senses."

"It doesn't sound like something fun to do."

"It's not about fun. It's about taking your mind off of certain things. You can't feel sorry for yourself when you're freezing," she said standing up. "Last one changed has to buy breakfast," she said sprinting off before Ned even had a chance to think.

Of course she was downstairs jogging in place on the landing when he came down pulling on a jacket.

"This is crazy, you know," he commented.

"It's good to impulsive sometimes."

"It's never sometimes with you," he said as she pulled on a black beanie.

"Why change now?" she asked as she opened the front door and they started in a light jog down the driveway and out to the street.

Ned was actually thankful once they got started running. They joked like they did ten years ago. No time was missed. She was laughing so hard she could barely stand up and catch her breath as they reached Kelly's.

"Are you hungry?" he asked opening the door for her as she unzipped her jacket.

"Surprisingly yes," she said with a smile as they sat down at a table. Memories started flooding back. Things she hadn't thought of in a long time.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just thinking. It feels like forever since I lived here. It's amazing how much things change. Kelly's is a totally different place from when we used to spend time here. I probably spent half my youth in this place."

"And how easily you loose touch with people," he commented.

"Hi guys," Georgie said walking up to their table. "What can I get for you?"

"Two coffees and bagels with cream cheese," Ned said. He still knew he too well.

"Ordering for me?" she asked with a smile.

"You can never make up your mind anyways."

Brenda thanked Georgie when she brought them coffee and took a sip, closing her eyes as the warm fluid filled her veins.

When she opened her eyes Sam and Lucky were walking into the coffee shop. Brenda smiled at Lucky, who smiled back and walked over.

"Hey," he said hugging her. "I didn't know you were in town."

"Drove in yesterday. Lois called. I'm really sorry Lucky. I know you and Emily were really close."

"Thanks," he said squeezing her hand. "This is Sam McCall. Sam this is Brenda Barrett. And you remember Ned," he said.

She nodded but chose to remain silent. Brenda eyed her curiously but did the same before Lucky excused them to their own table.

"Is that the first time you've met Sam?" he asked her. She nodded. "I don't think she's as bad a people make her out to be. She reminds me a lot of you when you first moved to town."

"I am nothing like that girl," Brenda whispered.

Brenda glanced over at them before taking another drink of her coffee.

"You know what Kelly's reminds me of," she said after a minute.

"What?" he asked.

"Stone." They smiled together. "His laundry list of things to do before he died. We made the biggest ice cream sundae on that counter. Jason's birthday party was here. Stilts. Bungee jumping."

"The only thing not accomplished was getting you and Sonny back together," Ned pointed out.

"I think Stone finally figured out that we needed to stay apart. I haven't talked to him in so long. I used to ask for his help all the time. I think I stopped believing he had some pull when Sonny left me at the altar. That was one of the last times I ever reached out to him. I told him his wish came true."

"Stone was wise beyond his years," Ned said.

"I wish he could tell me what to do now." Brenda ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "When I was in Paris, Robin and I used to look through his book. All the great stories and letters people wrote to him. Do you remember that party?" she asked with a smile.

"How could I forget the party? It was the norm back then. You go out in public and Sonny picks a fight."

"Lois and Miguel were so upset when they found out," Brenda laughed.

"How is Miguel?" Ned asked.

"I have no idea."

"What do you mean you have no idea?" he asked. "Didn't you just see him in Switzerland?"

"I don't want to talk about Miguel. Sorry I brought it." She sat back in the chair as he raised his hands in defeat.

"I'm sorry I asked."

"Can we call the car to pick us up? I don't feel like running anymore."

"Tough. This was your idea. Just because you're in a bad mood now, doesn't mean you get off easy. Finish eating."

Brenda rolled her eyes before quickly eating the bagel. She gave Lucky a little wave as they zipped up their coats and put on their beanies and left Kelly's. The run back to the house was silent. Brenda was up the stairs and in the shower faster than ever.


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**A/N**: Just to let everyone out there know, I am a big fan of Sam. I just love the idea that if Brenda came back, there wouldn't be a friendly relationship between her and Sam. They've both dated the same guys and both lost them. I think Sam is a lot like Brenda, they share some of the same characteristics. I don't write Sam as a mean person because I don't like her. I write her like this because I think this is how she would be around Brenda.

**Seven**

Brenda needed out of the house. As much as Ned argued with her and offered to come along, she just wanted to be alone. It was suffocating even without anyone in it. Monica insisted on going to work. Edward never left his office. Ned and Dylan decided to go catch a movie and dinner, which left her all alone in the big house.

She spent a half hour in the gym on the bike reading a magazine before she got bored, with nowhere to go. She called Robin but only got her answering machine. She was probably sleeping off her long shift at the hospital. Now Brenda would have to find some entertainment herself.

She was new in town to quite a few people; why not find a new place to settle. Jake's wasn't far off the beaten path. She pulled her car into one of the empty parking spots, stuffed her hands in her pockets and sauntered over to the door. Her entrance into the bar drew some attention but it disappeared quickly when she appeared extremely disinterested in her surroundings. She found a seat at the far end of the bar and sat down without complaint. Who knows what had been spilled there.

"What can I get for you?" Coleman asked.

"Vodka," she said looking up at him.

"Rough day?" he asked.

"Rough life."

"I haven't seen you in here before," he said.

"It's because she doesn't belong here," Sam said walking up with a beer.

"Why don't you mind your own business," Brenda suggested as she drank the shot Coleman put in front of her and motioned for another one.

"I'm just letting you know up front. Such a nice girl in a place like this."

"You don't know me," Brenda said looking at her. "Don't presume to know what kind of girl I am."

"I've heard enough about you to know that you would never usually step foot into a dive like this. Did you have to dust off the real shoes for this trip?"

"They're $2,000 Prada boots and if they get ruined I could call my assistant and she would send me over another pair tomorrow." Brenda drank her second shot.

"That's a lot of money you're throwing around. Are you sure you're not better suited for the Metro Court?"

"I wouldn't step foot in Carly's hotel if I was dying." Brenda stared at her. "Is there something you actually want because I'm not looking for company?"

"Sam why don't you go back to your table," Coleman suggested.

"I didn't realize we had assigned seating," she said.

"Just leave her alone."

"Do you know who she is?" Sam asked Coleman, leaning on the bar.

"I think you're drunk." Brenda drank another shot, trying to ignore them.

"This is the woman who played Sonny, Jax, and Jason. She's probably the reason none of them can have a healthy relationship."

"Maybe you should stop before you embarrass yourself," Brenda suggested motioning to Coleman to pour her another shot.

"Nothing could be more embarrassing than being left at the altar in front of all your friends and family," Sam said with a smug smile.

"You're making it very difficult for me to be nice to you."

"I never asked you to be nice to me."

Brenda felt like she was having yet another fight with Carly. The same arguments over and over again. She had absolutely no problem arguing with her, but Sam was a different story. Jason had been in love with Sam for years. Brenda didn't want to throw cheap shots at her. In fact, Brenda didn't even want to talk to her.

"Come on, Sam, leave her alone," Coleman said walking around the bar and stepping in front of Sam.

Brenda ran her fingers through her hair and looked over at Sam. Her patience was running thin. The alcohol was coursing through her body but she wasn't feeling all warm and fuzzy like she thought she would. She wasn't in the mood for a fight but if she had to, she'd protect herself at all costs.

"You think you're so special. You can waltz into Port Charles like you own the place and everyone just accepts you. The Quartermaine's welcome you with open arms no matter what you've done while Jason is out in the cold."

"Jason's not out in the cold," Brenda told her.

"Really? You didn't hear? Monica blames him for Emily which means she has basically disowned him. He may not have really wanted to be a part of that family, but they wanted him. And now he doesn't even have a choice."

"You don't know Jason very well and you don't know the Quartermaine's. Maybe you should stick to what you do know." Brenda looked at Coleman. "Can I get a beer?" she asked.

"I know Jason a lot better than you do," Sam said stepping closer to Brenda as Coleman walked around the bar to get Brenda her drink.

"I don't want to fight with you about Jason. I have nothing to prove," Brenda told her as she smiled at Coleman and took her beer.

"Do you feel a little threatened that you're not the focus in his life this time around? That Sonny and Jax are both taken?"

Brenda laughed as she looked at Sam.

"What are you doing?" Jason asked stalking over to them. Sam instantly backed away from Jason as Brenda kept smiling.

"My knight in shining armor," she said sarcastically.

"Shut up," he told Brenda with a glare before looking at Sam. "What are you doing?" Jason asked her.

"We're just having conversation. We have a lot in common."

"No we don't," Brenda said before taking another drink of her beer.

"I told you to shut up," Jason said without looking at her. Brenda rolled her eyes. "Leave Brenda alone Sam. She has nothing to do with this."

"Saving another damsel in distress? I'm sure Elizabeth will be pleased to know," Sam said. "You two enjoy yourselves." She grabbed her jacket off her chair, handed Coleman some bills and walked out of the bar.

"Thanks. I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle her whining."

"I did it for her own good, not for you."

"Thanks," Brenda replied taking another drink.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Pull up a stool. Can my friend here have a beer?" she asked Coleman.

"I don't want anything."

"Give him a beer," Brenda insisted. "If you don't drink it, I will." After a minute he finally sat down next to her and pulled the photo out of his pocket, sliding it over to her.

"Did you leave this in Sonny's room?" he asked.

"People need to remember the good times," was all she told him.

"You shouldn't be around Sonny."

"I don't think you're really in a position to be telling me what to do," she said looking over at him.

"There is some dangerous stuff going on. A man named Zacchara is targeting Sonny and everyone that he cares about. It's no secret he still has feelings for you. He probably always will. But you need to stay away from him otherwise you could become a target."

"You don't have to worry about me," she said with a smile.

"I have no choice."

"You do have a choice now, Jason. You have enough things to worry about. You have a family now. You have Sonny's family. Whether you like it or not, you have Sam. That's plenty to worry about. I am one person. I can take care of myself now."

"So I've heard." Her eyebrows rose. "Robin made a point to let me know that you are strong enough to take care of yourself."

"I've always been strong enough I just chose the easy route."

"You've never taken the easy route."

"Maybe not where you're concerned." She smiled at him. "I think there's a lot you still need to learn about me if you ever tried." She finished her beer and pulled out a small stack of bills from her pocket, handing Coleman well more than she owed. "Keep the change." She slid off the bar stool. "I'll see you later," Brenda said.

"You're not driving home," Coleman said. She didn't listen to him but kept walking. "She's had more than plenty in a very short amount of time," he told Jason.

He rolled his eyes before following her out of the bar.


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Eight**

Brenda knew she was going to have one of the worst hangovers of her life before she even moved or opened her eyes. What day was it? What time was it? She opened an eye to glance at the clock on the nightstand. There was no clock. She didn't want to move but she had no other choice. She propped herself up on her elbows and pushed past the pillows to look at the opposite nightstand. No clock. She did have a clock in her room, right?

She laid her head back down and closed her eyes. The room was going to start spinning any second as her head pounded. Judging from how tired she was and the angle of the sun trying to peak through the shades, she was guessing it was still pretty early.

Wait. She opened her eyes again and looked at the shades. Dark floor length curtains. She slowly sat up, wrapping the sheet around her body. Dark sheets and comforter. Where was she?

"Oh God," she muttered to herself laying her head on her knees and groaned. She needed to get out of there fast. Where were her clothes?

She pulled the sheet out of the bed, wrapped around her body and scanned the room. How she was moving this quickly with her head hurting so bad was beyond her. She walked into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. A minute later she was scooping water into her mouth to swallow four little pills and prayed the pain would slowly start to go away immediately.

She found a pile of some of her clothes, jeans, bra and panties. No shirt and no cell phone. She needed a ride. Shit. That meant she was going to have to walk downstairs without a shirt on. She was brave, right?

Brenda quickly dressed with what she had and slowly made her way towards the stairs. It was silent, almost creepy. She quickly padded downstairs and found her shirt lying over the chair. She pulled it on quickly and walked over to the phone dialing a number by heart.

"Hey Reggie," she whispered. "Can you come pick me up right now? Harborview Towers. And if you say a word to Ned …" she trailed off before hanging up the phone. Where was her cell phone? And her shoes? She walked over to the couch and started lifting cushions. She shoes were by the fireplace. She slid into them before lifting the next cushion.

"Looking for this?" his voice called walking out of the kitchen. Brenda looked up immediately, eyes wide, as Jason entered the room.

"Thanks," she said taking it out of his hand as soon as he was close enough. "I have to go," she said quickly grabbing her jacket off the desk.

"Brenda," he started.

"I have to go," she interrupted before pulling open the door and walking out of the penthouse. She pushed the elevator button five times before it finally opened and she got inside. The ride down was the longest.

She had to wait another five minutes for the car to finally show up before she could fully escape from the nightmare. Ned was going to kill her.


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Nine**

Brenda hesitated outside the hotel before finally walking through the front doors. She honestly was trying not to enter Carly's stupid hotel, but when she called the hospital and they told her that Robin wasn't at work for the next two days, she only had one choice. She needed to talk to her friend, especially after Lois didn't answer her phone all ten times she called on her way over.

"Can you tell me what room Robin Scorpio is in?" she asked the desk clerk, nervously tapping her fingernails on the counter.

"I'm sorry we can't give out that kind of information," he replied.

"Can you give me that information for fifty bucks?" she asked reaching into the pocket of her jeans. "Robin's my little sister. I just got into town. She forgot to tell me what room she's in." Brenda slid the money across the counter to him.

"Bribing doesn't work in my hotel," Carly said walking up. Brenda quickly snatched up the money before the clerk could take it and with arms crossed turned to Carly. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Listen, I don't have time for this. Can you just tell me what room Robin is in?" Brenda asked Carly.

"I'm sorry. Confidentiality laws require us to keep that private," she said with a smug smile.

Brenda phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket and with a smile opened it. "What room are you in? Thank you." Brenda hung up the phone. "Thanks Carly. You're a saint," Brenda said walking off to the elevators.

Carly rolled her eyes at Brenda's little wave as she stepped on the elevator just as Jax walked up.

"Was that Brenda?" he asked.

"In the flesh," Carly told him walking over to the clerk. "If I catch you about to take money from anybody for information, I'll fire you." Then she walked off leaving Jax standing in the middle of the hotel alone.

"What are you doing here?" Robin asked opening the door for Brenda.

"Lois wasn't answering her phone and I needed some girl talk. You saved me from Carly. That woman drives me crazy," Brenda said hugging her friend and sitting down on the couch.

"So what's going on?" Robin asked sitting down next to her.

"I did something I shouldn't have. At least I think I did," Brenda said shrugging out of her jacket and folding her feet underneath her.

"You think but you don't know?"

"No judging," Brenda insisted looking at Robin.

"I'll try not to," she said with a smile. "Okay, I promise."

"I needed to get out of the house last night so I went to Jake's and had some drinks. Sam, you know Sam, comes up and I feel like I'm having a conversation with Carly because she just keeps coming after me. Anyways, a few drinks later and I'm trying really hard not to slap her and Jason walks in. Of course he doesn't let me get a word in, but Sam leaves and we talked about Emily and everything."

"So what did you do that was so bad?" Robin asked.

"I have no idea. I left the bar soon after that and when I woke up this morning …" Brenda trailed off not sure how to finish the sentence, Robin leaning in to hear the rest. "… I was at the penthouse."

Brenda sat back and waited.

"You slept with Jason?" Robin whispered.

"I have no idea."

"How can you not know?" she asked.

"I have absolutely no memory of what happened once I left the bar. When I woke up I had no clothes on," Brenda said with a shrug. "Did I sleep with him?"

"Did you talk to him?" Robin asked sitting on the edge of her seat.

"You're kidding right? I was absolutely mortified that 1) I woke up naked in his bed, and 2) he saw me naked or at least I'm pretty sure he saw me naked. This isn't Jason from high school. I would have got naked with Jason Q any day of the week. This is like my ex-husband who I can't stand and hates when he sees me, Jason Morgan."

"Then you probably didn't sleep with him. Maybe he just brought you back to the penthouse and put you to be in his room."

"And I woke up in the middle of the night and took off all my clothes?" Brenda suggested.

Robin shrugged.

"Oh my god," Brenda moaned covering her face with her hands. "What in the world did I do? I am not drinking again for the rest of my life."

"I've heard that one before," Robin said. "Come on. Let's go shopping. That always makes you happy."

"I don't want to be happy. I want to be pathetic."

"You can be pathetic and shop at the same time," Robin said pulling her off the couch. "You have money burning a hole in your pocket."


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Ten**

"Where have you been all day, young lady?" Edward asked when Brenda walked into the den hours later.

"I went shopping with Robin. Sorry I should have left a note but it was so last minute," she said pouring a glass of water and sitting down next to Ned.

"You came home so late last night. We were starting to get worried," he continued. "I felt like there was a teenager living here again."

"Technically there is," Lulu commented walking in. "I'm moving back, until my dad gets better."

Brenda looked at Ned, confused.

"Well then I stand corrected. We have two teenagers living in the house."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Edward, I know how overprotective you are, but I am fine. I'll keep you more apprised of my whereabouts. Ned has my number if you ever want to get a hold of me."

"Thank you. Now are you staying for dinner?" he asked her.

"Yes, I am," she said with a smile.

"Me too. I don't think Tracy will come back though," Lulu said.

"Then I'll have cook fix up a nice meal. Emily's favorites."

"She'd love that," Ned said.

Edward disappeared out of the room and Ned couldn't wait.

"You are such a liar," he said to Brenda whose mouth dropped open at the words.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"You lied right to his face. You didn't walk back into this house until this morning."

"So. Early morning, late night, same thing," Brenda said taking a drink of her water as Dillon walked in.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I have no idea, but I think it's about to get interesting," Lulu commented sitting down in the nearest chair.

"I'm not 18 anymore, Nedly, so you don't have to worry about where I've been," she said with a smile standing up and walking back over to the bar to refill her glass.

"But I'm still seeing some patterns," he said. "Sneaking out at night, sneaking back in the morning. Not telling anyone where you've been."

"I went to Jake's and had some drinks. There, happy."

"No really. Jake's closes at 2am just like every other bar in the states. Where were you from 2 until 8am this morning?"

"I don't know. Somewhere out there. Why does it matter? I came back. No scratches. Tip top shape."

"And a nasty hangover," he added with a wink.

"You're not a very good impression for your brother," she said.

"Dillon responsible. He has real goals," Ned said.

"I don't want to have this conversation," Brenda said waving her hand at him.

Lulu and Dillon smiled at them. "I'm kind of sorry we missed out on all those other times they had this conversation," Lulu said.

"There were no other times," Brenda pointed out. "Ned just has a very overprotective nature. I'm sure Dillon knows."

"Actually I think it's different with girls than it is with boys," he pointed out. Brenda frowned.

"I think this is the same excuse you used when you took that little red car of yours for a drive and found Sonny shot and didn't come home for a day. Lila was so worried. You didn't even call anyone."

"That was totally different. I didn't know who Sonny was. I didn't know what kind of trouble he would cause later. What matters is that I wasn't with Sonny last night, so why even bring his name up."

"So you were with someone?" Ned asked casually sitting back.

"You know if Lois were here she wouldn't let you interrogate me like this."

"If Lois were here she'd be joining in."

"No, because if Lois returned any of my 15 phone calls she would already know the story."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Let's here the story," Ned said.

"I'm leaving," Brenda said with a wave.

"You're not getting off that easy," he said.

"Some things are better left unsaid," she called.

Lulu and Dillon just laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Eleven**

Brenda stood by the patio doors, cup of coffee in one hand and emptiness in the other. She was pretty sure no one was really ready to say good-bye to Emily. She had missed the sunrise this morning, but she didn't really care. She didn't feel like being happy or feeling any warmth today.

One by one slowly the family filtered into the room. No one spoke. Everyone moved in slow motion. Today they really got to feel helpless and emotional. The real world would stand still for this very day for them to look back on Emily's life and smile at the wonderful person she was.

Reginald came in soon after and informed them that the cars were waiting. Brenda and Ned rode in the town car behind Monica and Edward in the limo. Brenda couldn't be strong forever.

It was bright outside when the cars pulled up. From inside Brenda could see the people starting to file into the church. She put on her sunglasses to hide her pain, even if momentarily. The driver opened the door for them and Ned held out his hand to her to step out.

"No one said you had to hold it all together for the family," Ned whispered to her as they started walking towards the church.

Brenda didn't say anything. She held his hand tight in the cold and focused only on keeping her tears in for as long as possible. Robin would be inside. She had an ally. It wasn't just walking in to say good-bye to Emily, it was seeing all the people she didn't want to, facing the hatred that had built up by so many over the years.

"You're no breathing," Ned whispered.

She hadn't realized she was holding her breath. She smiled softly at him but it faded quickly as they were stopped just short of the church doors by Jax. He shook hands with Edward and hugged Monica like she was his own mother.

"Carly wanted to be here, but we thought it would be too hard on the boys," Jax expressed his condolences.

Behind her glasses Brenda couldn't help but roll her eyes. Monica and Edward passed through and Brenda was hoping that she could skate by.

"I'm really sorry, Brenda," Jax said. "I know Emily was like a sister to you." He reached out to touch her arm or squeeze her hand but she pulled away, stepping in front of Ned.

"Out of respect to Emily, I'm going to pretend you didn't just do that," Brenda hissed to him. "I'm going to find Robin," she said before removing her sunglasses and walking into the church leaving Jax and Ned standing alone on the steps.

"She's still mad at me," Jax stated.

"Can you blame her? I know you're persistent, but maybe for today you should keep your distance," Ned suggested.

Jax nodded and together they entered the church. He couldn't help but watch from afar as Brenda accepted condolences from Quartermaine friends as if she was actually a blood relative. Ned stayed close to her throughout the entire ceremony. From a few rows back he couldn't tell if she was crying but on occasion she reached up and brushed her cheeks. He had secretly hoped she had forgiven him, that maybe they could still be friends. The tone in her voice from that one sentence told him that he should keep dreaming.

When the funeral ended, Edward extended the invitation to all to join them at the Quartermaine house for a reception or celebration of Emily's life. While Brenda wanted nothing to do with him, he wasn't about to let her ruin this for him. He called Carly to let her know he was going to stop by and that maybe she should bring the boys briefly to see Monica. She agreed.

The den filled up quickly with friends and family. He took the flute of champagne from a waiter and entered the room. Ned nodded to him as his eyes scanned the crowd. She wasn't anywhere in the room. By his powers of deduction he found Robin to be missing as well and assumed that they were together somewhere sharing their own stories.


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twelve**

Brenda and Robin sat with their matching wine glasses on the fifth step going upstairs in the foyer. They had been silent for awhile, trying to hide out the best they could from the crowd of people who kept saying "I'm sorry" and "I miss her so much". Brenda wanted to think about the fun times and laugh about all the crazy things they had done.

At that very moment she was silently wishing the old Jason was back, to remember Emily as a child when she wanted to tag along with all of them in high school.

"You're thinking about high school aren't you?" Robin asked.

Brenda looked over at her friend. "It seems to be all I think about these days."

"I was just thinking about Stone," Robin confessed. "You know I'm slowly starting to realize how easily he doesn't come to mind anymore. The other day I woke up and there was this song playing on the radio that reminded me of him and all of a sudden I couldn't remember the last time I thought about him."

Brenda looked intently at her friend. "At least once a week I think about the look on Sonny's face when he walked in the gatehouse and told me you were HIV positive and how that second in time changed my life forever." Brenda could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. They weren't supposed to be talking about themselves. They were supposed to be talking about Emily.

There was a soft knock on the door and it slowly opened. Brenda was shocked that someone would actually walk into the Quartermaine house after knocking without actually waiting for a response. She wasn't surprised when she saw Carly and two boys, one she knew as Michael, walk in.

"Usually when you knock on someone's door you wait for them to answer instead of just walking right in," Brenda commented before taking a drink of her wine.

Robin sat quietly beside her. This wasn't her fight.

"Aren't you supposed to be off in Europe somewhere bothering other people with your problems?" Carly asked looking around the room for any sign of her husband.

"Europe has been fine without me for quite awhile, thank you very much for asking."

"There you are," Jax said walking out with Ned into the foyer.

Brenda finished off her wine as Jax kissed Carly. They might as well just do it right there on the floor to make her feel even better.

"What are you two doing hiding out here?" Ned asked walking over to Brenda.

"Taking a breather. Talking about Stone," Brenda commented, which didn't go unnoticed by Carly.

"That's my middle name?" Morgan said pulling on Carly's arm.

It was Brenda's turn to be shocked.

"Sonny named Morgan after Stone," Robin told her.

Brenda slowly stood up. "I need some air," she said before handing her glass to Ned and making her way to the door.

"Brenda," Jax said right before she slammed the door in his face.

"You know just because she left and you two are married, does not mean that the past is any different?" Robin said standing up and following Brenda out the door. All she saw was tail lights and dust. Figuring it was a lost cause she walked back inside and closed the door.

"Did she take my car?" Ned asked. Robin just looked at him. "Great."

"Come on, boys, let's go see Monica," Jax said picking up Morgan and leading the way back to the den.


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Thirteen**

When Brenda pulled Ned's car around the fountain and in front of the house she wasn't surprised to find him sitting on the steps wrapped in the biggest coat he could find.

"How long have you been sitting out here?" she asked tossing him his keys as she sauntered up the steps.

He stood to meet her. "I stopped counting. Edward's been worried about you."

"I would have thought he stopped worrying about me in high school."

"Where'd you go this time?" Ned asked as she opened the door and walked into the house, leaving him to close it.

"I just drove around. No where specific."

"You were gone for a few hours."

"Sometimes it takes a few hours to recover from Carly and her perfect life," she sarcastically muttered under her breath. "I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed," Brenda said as she left Ned standing in the foyer by himself.

Brenda was wrapped in a blanket, sitting by the window looking at the stars when her phone started vibrating on the nightstand. She didn't even have to look at the number to know who was calling.

"Hi," she whispered into the darkness.

"Are you okay?" Lois asked.

"I'm fine. Just temporary insanity."

"What happened? Ned called and said that you just up and left the reception. He was worried when you were gone for so long."

"I just needed some time to think. It's hard to do that in a house full of people. I needed to get it out of my system without anyone else around to watch."

"So you drove around?"

"I visited Lily. I haven't been there in a long time."

"And did you figure everything out?"

"Sure, just as I do every time I start thinking that my life could have been so different. My little boy should have been named Stone, not hers. She doesn't deserve that. She didn't know him."

"But she didn't name him. Sonny did. He's still honoring Stone whether or not Carly understands the real significance."

"It shouldn't mean anything. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal out of it."

"Because every once in awhile we have to think back in the past to realize how great the present is."

"How great is the present?" Brenda questioned. Lois didn't answer. "My point exactly. We're both in this black hole. We focus too much on business and don't really care about the personal life right now. At least you have Brook. You know what it's like to be a mother. You've got to experience that. I'm stuck in some limbo that I can't seem to dig myself out of."

"That's not true."

"I think I'm just going to hang around here for a few more days then head out. I don't want to be some place I'm not wanted for very long."

"Take as much time as you want. The tour isn't going anywhere without you."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later." Brenda closed her phone and tossed it onto her bed. She sat there for a few more hours deep in her thoughts before her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep in the chair.


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Fourteen**

Brenda sat down on the bench at the docks and looked at the mist rising over the water. While she was away from Port Charles she never thought as much about it as she did when she was surrounded by it. She remembered water skiing with Jax and Robin right after they got married. She had so many confrontations and arguments on these planks of wood. Her last reconciliation with Sonny happened on the bench she was sitting on.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her chest and carefully lifted on hand to bring her coffee cup to her lips. It was cold, but at least she felt human.

"Fancy seeing you here," Sam said casually walking down the steps.

Brenda rolled her eyes but didn't look at her. She had less than 24 hours before her flight left for the great unknown. She wanted to make it quick and painless. This conversation didn't seem to fit into either category.

"I would think sitting alone in the dark might be a little scary for you," Sam said purposefully sitting down next to Brenda on the bench.

"It's not dark," Brenda responded.

"Well, dusk. Either way, the docks are usually a place for single girls to hang out."

"Then why are you here?" she asked looking at her finally.

"Just passing through."

"Keep passing." Brenda took another drink out of her coffee cup.

"This is what I don't understand. Everyone always talks about how fragile you are. You couldn't handle the life. You were constantly demanding to know what was going on in the world in which Sonny and Jason work. And when you never got answers you just complained some more."

"Big words coming from such a small person."

"Why bother coming back? You knew Emily, so I can understand that, but it was one day. Why are you still here? Hope Sonny will come running back?"

"I don't think you understand," Brenda said through clenched teeth. "I didn't ask for company, so you should probably keep moving on."

"This is public property. I can stop if I want."

"Are you trying to make this painful on yourself?" Brenda asked finishing her coffee and standing up to toss it in the nearest trash can.

"I'm not in pain," Sam said with a smile.

"Not yet," Brenda mumbled.

"Are you threatening me?" Sam asked standing up.

"No. I don't have to threaten people. Usually they back off on their own. Because they're smart. Sure, you dated Jax. You're also the one who might as well have killed his father with your bare hands. Mistake number one. Then you decide to move onto Sonny because he's dashing and dangerous and he saved your life at least one. Mistake number two. And being how responsible you are and how much you want to belong someplace, you go and get knocked up and when Sonny decides to let you go, you go running to Jason to play daddy because he had one child taken away, why not make it two once Sonny realizes he can't live without her? Mistake number three."

"You know nothing about me."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Brenda said. "Your biggest mistake of all was probably assuming that any of those men would fall for the little games you play over and over and keep on forgiving you. I may not live in Port Charles but I know pretty much everyone. And everyone in Port Charles loves to talk about other people's problems."

"You went running the second it got tough for you. Jax leaves you at the altar and suddenly you need to escape this place you love so much," Sam said, crossing her arms.

"Here's the most important part. I'd hate for you to miss it. While you lived with and dated and tried to play house with Jason for three years, not once did he actually make you his wife. All I had to do was ask once and he was mine," Brenda said.

"In a fake marriage only to keep you away from Sonny and Jax."

"Sure, maybe. But who do you think he was sending money to every single month while the two of you were building a crib and going to doctor's appointments. He was loyal to a fault to me. That's the first thing you ask of Jason. Once you mess that up, it's over."

Sam stared at Brenda. As far as she knew, Brenda was aware of everything. Friends in high places. Jason himself could have confided that he had a son now and that Sam was the reason he almost lost him.

"What's going on?" Sonny asked walked onto the docks with Jason. Neither Brenda nor Sam responded. "Looks like you two are having a nice little conversation."

"Brenda was just filling me in on what happened in Port Charles before I came to town," Sam said casually.

Brenda kept staring at Sam. Jason had seen that look. Sonny had too more times than he could count. The look that meant war. She was in a fighting mood. They could handle it only a couple of ways before they all became targets.

"Sam why don't you take off," Sonny suggested.

"I don't follow your orders," she said.

"Go," Jason said. Sam looked at them all one more time before she slowly started to walk off. She didn't get far before the arguing started. She turned the corner and stopped. This could make for some good gossip of her own.

"Don't touch me," Brenda said stepping out of Sonny's grasp. He held up his hands in surrender. "I thought both of you were done meddling in my life. I guess I was wrong," she said, turning to leave. Jason grabbed her arm and forced her to stay.

"All I wanted to do was tell you how sorry I am about Emily. I know she meant a lot to you," Sonny said.

"I'm so sick and tired of people feeling sorry for everyone else over Emily. We all loved Emily. There's nothing we can do to ever bring her back. Apologizing for it won't help. I'd rather remember her when she was happy."

"No one said you couldn't," Sonny said.

"Will you let go of my arm?" Brenda asked Jason. "I have someplace to be."

"Where?" Sonny asked.

"That's none of your business."

"Well you're fighting with people in public. I'm just making sure you're going to be safe."

"Oh, trust me. I don't need protection, least of all from you."

"What's with all the hostility? I was under the impression we ended things on good terms," Sonny said crossing his arms and looking at her.

"It doesn't matter how things ended. We're not in the past anymore, Sonny. I have a life of my own, one that you don't know about, one you can't control. So why don't you do us all a favor and stop pretending that you still want to be friends." Brenda glared at Jason. "Let go of my arm." He stared back. "In that case, since Sonny's so interested, maybe you should tell him what happened at the night at the bar."

Jason didn't flinch as she looked at him, a smile threatening to escape.

"What is she talking about?" Sonny asked Jason.

It was easy for Brenda to pull away from him now as he slowly let go of her.

"You kids have a nice day," Brenda told them both with a smile and wave as she walked up the steps and out of sight.

"What is she talking about?" Sonny asked Jason again.

"I have no idea."

"Well she apparently hit some nerve," Sonny said.

"Sam was fighting with Brenda at Jake's a few days ago. I walked in and stopped it. That's probably all she's talking about."

"Doesn't sound like it to me."

"Brenda was drunk. She has no idea what she's talking about. She could barely stand," Jason said. "You know how she gets when she wants something. She'll say anything."

"This new Brenda doesn't seem to work that way. Hot and cold. Jax said she fled the reception after hearing that I named Morgan after Stone. She doesn't seem into fights too much lately otherwise the two sentences she shared with Carly would have been a full out fight like always."

"Maybe something's changed," Jason suggested.

"Maybe not."


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Fifteen**

Brenda set her bag down by the front door and stuffed her hands into her pockets. Her week long trip back to Port Charles had been a whirlwind. She felt that she hadn't accomplished nearly as much as she had wished. She hadn't spent as much time as she wished she could have with Robin. Even though she wasn't running away like before, she couldn't help but feel like she was leaving it all behind again.

"When does your plane leave?" Ned asked walking down the stairs.

"Edward is letting me use the company jet instead of flying coach, so, technically, whenever I want," she said with a smile. "Probably within the hour."

"You want some company? I can go check in with Brooke."

Brenda shook her head. "I don't think I'm going to go straight to California."

"Where are you going then?" She shrugged. "Wandering."

"Yeah. I told Lois I'll be back by the end of the week. I'll just have the jet drop me off then rent a car. A road trip can't hurt."

"It can when you're not used to anything but first class," he joked.

"I don't mind roughing it for awhile. Then I'll soak up the luxuries later."

Brenda hugged him. She had said good-bye to Monica and Edward the previous night, figuring they would both be working or sleeping by the time she finally left. Edward would only accept her leaving with the promise that within the year she would visit. With Emily gone, Brenda remained their only 'daughter'. She was privileged to be a part of the family still after all these years.

"I'm going to go. I need to stop by and see Robin. I'll call you when I get home." Brenda smiled, hugging him tighter.

"I'll see you soon."

Brenda nodded as she picked up her duffle bag and walked out to the waiting limo. She never thought she would be so sad to leave, but for some reason, today she was.

The drive to the hospital was quick. The driver stayed downstairs as she rode three floors up to find Robin. It wasn't that difficult.

"You're leaving?" Robin asked pulling back from their hug.

"I need to get back to work. Lois is swamped. I have a tour that needs all my attention."

"Anyone big and famous?" Robin asked. Brenda only smiled. "You better be bringing them through town and I better be getting free tickets."

"I'll let you know as soon as we schedule. I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too," Robin said as they hugged. "Call me as soon as you get there and as much as you can after. We're not supposed to be strangers."

"I promise."

Brenda gave her one last quick hug before pulling back. "I get you some tickets when we come through town." Brenda pushed the elevator button. It dinged and opened almost immediately and she nearly collided with Jason. "Excuse me," she said softly before stepping into the elevator.

"Can we talk really quick?" he asked.

Brenda looked up at him. "No. I'm late."

"Two minutes?"

"I have a plane to catch." She said as the elevator doors slowly slid shut and he disappeared. Her eyes dropped to the floor and she took a deep breath, suddenly realizing that the reason she didn't want to leave was because there was so much unfinished business with Jason. Most of it should just be left unsaid.


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Sixteen**

**(Two Months Later)**

Brenda paced her apartment. She felt closed in even with all the blinds open and the sun blaring in. She didn't have the smallest apartment by any means. In all reality it was bigger than the penthouse and even some houses. But being so high up, without a back yard or a garden, she was confined to her living quarters.

She turned on the TV and flipped channels until she came to some music channel where she could listen and focus and check up on her blossoming artists. Lois should be walking through the door any minute and help her.

Brenda, standing in the middle of the living room, turned and looked at Lois as she walked in carrying a plastic bag.

"I brought food. Chinese and ice cream." Brenda half smiled. "Anything good?" Lois asked nodding to the TV.

"Not yet. I just turned it on." Brenda ran her hands through her hair and sighed.

"How many did you take?"

"Six." Brenda confessed looking at her friend, stricken with fear. "Six perfect pink smiley faces."

"You know what that means?" Lois asked unable to contain her smile. "I'm going to be an aunt!" She started laughing and hugged Brenda tightly.

"I know you're excited. If I were you I'd be excited to. I was excited when you found out about Brook."

"Then be excited now."

Brenda sat down in the nearest chair and curled her feet underneath her.

"What worries you the most?" Lois asked pulling down plates and filling them with food.

"I have to pick one thing," Brenda asked. Lois just looked at her. "That I'm raising a baby on my own in California."

"Good point, but I've been doing it for years. Pick something else."

"I'll lose my figure and no man will ever love me again." Brenda suggested.

"You have the fastest metabolizing in the world. You'll drop the baby weight in under a month." Lois handed her a plate with a bottle of water and sat down on the couch. "You know what is really bothering you. Now fess up and we can move on to happier topics."

"Okay. I don't even remember conceiving this baby, the father already has a new family of his own, and the people of Port Charles are going to freak out and disown me even more."

"That's more like it," Lois said taking a big bite of rice. "Now, on the bright side, Edward and Monica are going to be ecstatic to know that they have another grandchild."

"Oh my God, when Edward finds out he's going to make me move back to the house and live with him for the rest of my life,"

"No he won't because once Jason finds out …"

"Don't finish that sentence," Brenda said.

"Wait, go back. You are planning on telling Jason right?"

"And say what? Hey. Remember that night at the bar when I woke up in your bed naked? I don't remember it but you're the father of my baby? I don't think that will fly."

"Get a paternity test."

"And how do I get DNA from him?"

"Maybe the PCPD has some on file. From Luis's murder."

Brenda groaned at the sound of his name. "I thought we agreed never to talk about him again."

"I know but desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Luis can never be used as a desperate measure. They never had DNA on us. They used an eye witness and video tape. That doesn't matter. My baby isn't going to be introduced to that lifestyle."

"My baby? See, you have it already."

"What?" Brenda asked.

"The glow. You're going to be a mommy."

Brenda couldn't help but smile.


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Seventeen**

**(Two Months Later)**

"What do you have for me?" Lois asked walking into Brenda's office as she sat typing away on her computer.

"I have two backstage passes, two front row tickets, two first class seats on the flight, and one very large request," Brenda said sitting back in her chair.

"What's that?" Lois asked.

"While we're in Port Charles keep a very short and tight leash on Sonny. The last thing I need and want on this very quick trip is for him to start a fight."

"How do you suppose I can do that?"

"With your wit and charm? And do not give him any tickets. If he really wants to go he can spend his precious money for it."

"When are you leaving?" Lois asked.

"Fifteen minutes. Robin is going to pick me up at the airport. Then I have the pleasure of entering Carly's fine hotel to arrange all the rooms. The bus arrives tomorrow morning."

"And I'll be in bright and early."

"Thank you so much," Brenda said.

"This is your baby, not mine. Go make me proud," Lois said with a smile before taking the package from Brenda and walking out.

Brenda glanced at her computer screen one more time before shutting it down. She grabbed her messenger bag, double checked that she had everything she needed, confirmations, telephone numbers, tickets, etc, turned off her light and left. She had four long days ahead of her. Nothing she was actually looking forward to this time.

The whole plane right her thoughts drifted away from the concert and onto the straight forward facts she was going to have to face when she arrived. Her assistant sat silent pretty much the whole flight watching some movie on her laptop, which gave Brenda the extra time to double check her lists of everything she had to do. The last thing and most dreaded, visit Edward and Monica and give them the good news, right after telling Jason he was going to be a daddy.

"Earth to Brenda," Keri said bringing Brenda out of her thoughts.

"Sorry. What?" Brenda asked closing her appointment book.

"We're about to land. Where were you just then?"

"Trying to figure out why I decided to have a concert in Port Charles." Brenda glanced out the window and stretched her legs out. She absolutely loved first class.

They were one of the first ones off the plane when it landed. Brenda shouldered her messenger bag and reached inside for her phone and sun glasses.

"Going incognito today?" Keri asked.

"As much as I can for the next four days. Port Charles is not Disneyland." Brenda turned on her phone as they walked. Of course it was leaked by L&B themselves that a concert would be held this week in Port Charles with the infamous Miguel Morez who was shooting to the charts with every single release. The photographers were hard to miss as they exited the terminal towards baggage claim.

"Ms. Barrett?" a man in black asked walking up.

"Are you Tony?" she asked. He nodded. "Perfect."

"Ready?" he asked as the sliding glass doors slowly opened.

"As we'll ever be." Another man joined them as they walked into the glare and flashes of cameras. Keri couldn't stop smiled. Brenda was used to it and Keri would be sick of it as soon as she realized how intrusive it became.

"This is great," Keri said. "I can't believe you don't enjoy this."

"You wait until the rumors start," Brenda commented as they were led to a secure holding area.

"They are pulling your bags before they hit baggage claim," Tony told them as they sat down. Brenda nodded as she pulled out her phone to dial.

"Hey, it's me." Brenda laughed slightly. "Okay, well, we have some security. We'll be out in a minute." Brenda hung up. "Ride's here."


	18. Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Eighteen**

Robin pulled up her car to the valet and they started to unload their bags. Brenda tipped him before he even had a chance to move the car and Robin shook her head.

"Stop throwing around money," she whispered.

"This trip I get to do whatever I want. I'm running the show," she said with a smile. Behind her sunglasses Robin knew her eyes were glowing.

"They warned me about this," Carly said before Brenda could get two steps into the foyer.

"Keri, go take care of the rooms," Brenda said handing her a credit card. She only nodded and rushed off. This was her chance to show Brenda she could be of real assistance to her.

"It's been all over the newspaper that L&B Records was bringing back their famous singer for a reunion tour. Of course, he was nameless to me. But it all made send when I talked to Jax and he said that you were the B."

"Well, they don't call you smart for nothing," Brenda commented. She was in a very vulnerable position and Carly didn't need to know. While her shirt was loose and flowy, she was still self conscious about the way her body was starting to look.

"I'm only letting you use my hotel for all this stuff because Jax asked so nicely, why I have no idea. But in four days you better be long gone."

"Usually when we bring artists to hotels, the owners and/or hostesses will get complementary tickets to all events and interviews. Two bad I'm fresh out for this one," Brenda said with a smile as Keri came back.

"The hospitality suite will be ready later tonight, fully stocked. The key to your suite, plus the other rooms," Keri said handing her a stack of small envelopes with individual numbers and keys.

"Thanks. Why don't you go get settled? Run through the checklist. I'll be up in a little bit," Brenda said with a forced smile. Once she left Brenda turned back to Carly. "Seeing that we have extensive creative differences, I would like to have a different host for the week. Who can I talk to?" Brenda asked.

"That's too bad. We're fresh out," Carly said.

"I'll take care of it," Jax said walking up.

Brenda didn't know what was worse, Jax or Carly.

"Fine. We have some specific requests," Brenda said.

"Of course you do," Carly seethed.

"Maybe we should clear something up? Do you know how much money we are dropping here in four days? More than Sonny gives you in alimony and child support. More than your hotel makes in an average week. The band drinks like fish. Miguel has very expensive tastes. I just booked ten of your best rooms. You are getting excellent coverage from around the world because you have an international superstar staying here. I would expect that someone who was trying to be taken seriously as a business woman instead of a tramp who sleeps her way to the top to take rich men's money and con them, that you might embrace the fact that you have to be nice to me for four days or all the travel magazines, newspapers, and ugly celebrity gossip shows will know that the Metro Court has the worst service and is more overpriced for the small town it's located in." Brenda stared at Carly and saw out of the corner of her eye the slightly shocked look in Robin's eye at her friend's bold statements.

"She's all yours," Carly said before turning and walking off in the opposite direction.

Brenda sighed. "I'm going up to my room. For the remainder of our stay my assistant will be the only person you or Carly deals with," Brenda told Jax before walking off with Robin.

"What in the world just happened?" Robin asked with a smile. "Did you see the look on Carly's face?"

"It's the hormones. I swear," Brenda said laying a protective hand on her stomach.


	19. Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Nineteen**

"What are we doing here?" Lois asked walking up to the group of girls huddled in a corner booth at the Metro Court café.

"Pow wow," Keri said with a smile. "You can have the bellboy take your bags right up to the room."

Lois instructed him to do just that before taking a seat next to Brenda. She couldn't help but lay a protective hand on her friend's slightly protruding belly.

"What are we looking at?" she asked looking at the laptop screen in front of Brenda.

"The bump watch," Robin said.

"The what?" Lois asked with a laugh as the waiter walked up. "Mimosa, pretty please." He nodded and walked off.

"Brenda's bump watch. They have this website all about famous pregnant women and they upload photos of their pregnant bellies. I think some people are still wondering if she's pregnant or not," Robin continued.

"This is so embarrassing. People don't need to be looking at my stomach," she said defensively covering it with her hands.

"It's cute. We don't have to even track it ourselves. No matter where you're at someone will see you, take a picture and from thousands of miles away we can see how our little niece is growing," Robin joked.

"Some people have too much time on their hands," Brenda mumbled.

"How are we doing this morning, ladies," Jax asked walking up. "Hey Lois. Long time no see," he said as she stood and the two hugged. "Can I get you anything?"

"Security," Brenda said closing the laptop and looking up at him. She glanced at her watch.

"Why?" he asked. "Are you being bothered?"

"No, but in about an hour two limos will pull up out front and there will be a crowd of screaming girls and photographers. They need to stay out of the hotel. I can't let one hair on their heads touched."

"I'll get right on that," Jax said before walking off.

"Did she tell you about her little smack in the face to Carly?" Robin asked Lois.

"What are you talking about? Did you hit her?"

"No," was all Brenda responded.

"She basically came out and said I'm richer than you'll ever be so back off."

"That's not what I said."

"Close enough. The look on Carly's face …" Robin said with a smile.

"Can you save those shows for when I'm around from now on?" Lois asked.

"Of course," Brenda said smiling at her friend. "Hey Keri, can you go check the rooms, make sure everything is stocked?"

"Yep," she said before standing and rushing off to the elevators.

"Here's the deal," Brenda said looking between her two friends. "Knowing what I said to Carly yesterday, and that 1) she has a big mouth, and 2) she can't help but get all the sympathy she can from Sonny and Jax, I'm betting she has already went crying to Sonny about me being here and even mentioned Miguel. He's going to show up sooner or later."

"I'm on it. I'll get settled in my room then I'll track him down, keep him busy for awhile. I can't guarantee all week but maybe I can talk some sense in him to just leave it alone."

"Whatever you can do to help me out would be great."

"When are you going to see Edward?" Lois asked.

"I don't know," Brenda confessed sitting back against the booth. "I figure it would be cruel to tell Monica and Edward before telling Jason, right?"

Her friends both nodded.

"So as soon as I get the courage to see him, then I guess that's when."

"You have sound check tonight, concert tomorrow, then the reception the next morning," Lois pointed out.

"The guys will be up all night tonight so they'll be sleeping most of tomorrow. I'll stop by the penthouse tomorrow morning sometime."

"Do you need someone to go with you?" Robin asked.

"No. I'm a brave independent woman. I can take him on myself."

Lois and Robin both smiled at her.


	20. Chapter 20

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twenty**

Brenda was beginning to regret not bringing Lois or Robin along with her the following morning to see Jason. But the only thing on her mind was the previous afternoon.

Leave it to Jax to make Brenda extremely happy once again by providing the best security she had ever had when Miguel arrived. They had been a rough afternoon as Miguel was in an incredibly bad mood.

In the beginning of their relationship, Brenda had been completely honest with Jax and told him about the affair with Miguel, so even though they never talked about it that morning, she knew Jax had to be anxious to meet the man that inevitable ruined Brenda's relationship with Sonny forever.

Brenda was waiting patiently inside with Lois, Jax and Carly when Keri poked her head inside.

"We have a problem," she told Brenda.

"What?"

"He wants you in the limo." Brenda glanced at Lois who shrugged, before she walked outside to face the cameras. She easily slipped into the back of the first limo.

"What's wrong?" Brenda asked him. He had on dark shades and an extremely attractive Latin pout.

"Who's inside?" he asked.

"Lois. Why?"

"I'm thinking the concert here was a bad idea. Bad memories."

"It's too late for that. You agreed to come here." He didn't say anything. "I know it's hard to be here. It's hard for me too. I have to go tell Jason he's going to be a dad to a kid he doesn't want. You get to go sing your heart out to a bunch of people who love you."

"Do I have my own suite?" he asked. Brenda smiled as she rolled her eyes.

"No. I want to keep an eye on you," she said. "We'll go see Lily before we leave." He nodded. "Can we go inside now? I have a massage and everything set up for you."

Brenda opened the door and stepped out holding the door open for Miguel. He grabbed her hand and plastered on a smile and she walked with him the short distance to the lobby.

"Hey there, rock star," Lois said with a large smile hugging Miguel. He kept a firm grip on Brenda's hand.

"Hi Lois," he said pulling back and glancing at the two other people in the room.

"This is Jax and Carly. They own the hotel," Brenda said reluctantly. Miguel chose not to offer his hand to either one of them. Brenda looked at him curiously, "Excuse us just a second," Brenda said before dragging Miguel off out of earshot. "You need to get out of this mood and go over there and shake their hands and thank them for everything."

"Brenda," he started.

"No," she said loudly causing them to all look at her. "I am extremely hormonal. I dislike these people more than you have a right too and I'm putting up with them. So walk your gorgeous body over there, shake their hands and then you get a good meal, a massage and a nap before sound check."

"No cuddling?" he joked, straight faced.

"No. Go." Brenda said releasing his hand and watching him turn and walked back over to them. "Let's try this again," Brenda said. "This is Jax and his wife, Carly."

"It's nice to meet you," Miguel said holding out his hand to both of them. Carly almost refused to take it but Jax smiled and nudged her. "Thanks for everything you are doing for Brenda for this concert. It means a lot to us being back in our hometown."

"You're welcome," Jax said. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Now, if you'll excuse Miguel, he needs to keep on schedule. I'll check in with you in a few," Brenda told him. He kissed her cheek before walking to the elevators with Keri and the rest of the band.

"Does he need pep talks regularly or is this just a special occasion?" Carly asked.

"Yes, it is a special occasion," Brenda hissed to her. "Miguel hasn't been back to Port Charles since he was nearly run out by Sonny. He has a lot of missed time here and missed opportunities. The love his life and the mother of his son was killed in a car bomb meant for Sonny years ago. In case you weren't aware, Sonny's ex-wife Lily belonged to Miguel first." Brenda said.

Carly glanced towards the elevators where the band was filing in.

"Miguel is more of a man in every way you can imagine than anyone you have ever been with. Show a little respect," Brenda said before walking off in the same direction.

Jax and Carly looked at Lois who stood straight faced before them.

"I won't go into the details," she started, "but the relationship between Brenda and Miguel runs deep. It is the most loyal and trusting relationship that any two people can share. And as much as you may hate Brenda for something she never actually did to you," Lois emphasized, "she holds your future in her hands."

She didn't wait for either of them to say anything before she followed in Brenda's direction.

The limo had arrived outside the penthouse. Now all Brenda had to do was get out and face him.


	21. Chapter 21

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twenty-One**

Spinelli looked up from his laptop when the elevator chimed, announcing an incoming guest. He looked up expectantly for Sonny or Carly or some other known being to walk out but instead he was graced with the presence of one of the most beautiful beings he had come to see.

"Hi," she said surprised to find a stranger sitting outside the penthouse.

Spinelli was at a loss for words and couldn't even move.

"Who are you?" she asked wrapping her sweater tightly across her body.

"The Jackal," he said in a rush setting down his computer and holding out his hand. "I reside here, currently unwanted inside."

"Okay. Is Jason around?"

"Stone Cold is inside with fair Elizabeth, young Cam and the innocent one having breakfast."

"So I shouldn't interrupt them?" she asked curiously.

"Only if you would like to. I have chosen to wait it out in the hallway where I can work in peace." Spinelli nervously stood in front of her unsure what to say next. "You are the wickedness herself, Stone Cold's, evil ex-wife. Am I correct?"

Brenda looked at him but didn't say anything.

"Of course, those are the words of the Valkyrie herself and not mine. To me you are Aphrodite. Goddess of Beauty and Love. And the eternal fashionista, the one who has the everlasting love of the Godfather, and the most beautiful girl in the world."

Brenda laughed a little before holding out her hand.

"Brenda would suffice. I need to see Jason."

"I'll announce you," Spinelli offered as he picked up his laptop, knocked on the door and slowly opened it. He peaked inside. Jason and Elizabeth were sitting on the couch, Cam in her lap, Jake in his arms.

"You have a visitor," Spinelli told him.

"Who?" Jason asked.

"The ex-wife," Spinelli said hesitantly before opening the door wider and Brenda walked in.

She was slightly taken aback by the child in Jason's arms and the cozy little situation that was before her. Elizabeth's smile slowly faded. Apparently neither was aware that Brenda was in town.

"Sorry to stop by so unexpectedly. I'm kind of on a strict schedule and this was the only time I could," she said as Spinelli closed the door behind her and stood awkwardly behind her.

"It's okay," Jason said.

"I need to talk to you, if that's okay," she started as her phone started to ring. She hesitated a moment before looking at the caller ID. "Excuse me just a second." Brenda flipped open the phone. "Hi." She listened on the other end as Lois very quickly rattled of a string of information. "She did what? I'm going to kill her," Brenda hissed. "I'm on my way." Brenda hung up the phone and replaced it in her pocket. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked ignoring the crowd they had.

"What?" Jason asked.

"Can you call Sonny and tell him you have an emergency and that he needs to come here right away?" she asked.

Jason didn't ask, because the tone of her voice and the brief conversation, told him she meant business. He flipped open his phone and after a few quick seconds he hung up. "It's off."

Brenda cursed under her breath and looked at him. "I need to go. Sorry to bother you." She quickly opened the door and disappeared outside. Jason quickly passed off Jake to Elizabeth and followed Brenda out to catch her as the elevator door opened, hearing the door close behind him.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Don't worry about it. I can handle it," she told him stepping into the elevator.

He blocked it from closing with his hand.

"What did you need to talk about?" he asked.

She realized it was now or never. She wished for never but now she had an escape route and she could drop her bombshell and disappear.

"I'm pregnant," she told him flat out, looking him straight in the eyes before putting a protective hand over her stomach. "And you're the father."

His guard was down. He had no response and his reflexes failed him as the elevator door slid shut, blocked him out.


	22. Chapter 22

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twenty-Two**

Brenda was too late and she knew it because the raised voices in the lobby could be heard outside the entrance. Brenda quickly handed her stuff over to Keri who was standing nearby and approached Lois who was trying to get Sonny to back away from Miguel. Carly was standing back a ways with Jax close by watching.

"What makes you think that you could show your face around here after what you did?" Sonny asked Miguel, who was trying hard to do as Brenda asked and keep his temper down.

"What's going on here, Sonny?" Brenda asked placing herself in front of Miguel, managing to put some inches between them.

"I should have known the only person who would dare bring him back to Port Charles was you. Bad idea."

"You know what the bad idea was? Assuming that you could give Lily a happy life. Instead you killed her," Miguel yelled at him.

"Keep your voice down," Brenda said noticing all the ears around the room perk up.

"You know whose fault it is that Lily died?" Sonny asked. "Hers." He pointed at Brenda and the look in her eyes was cold, harsh, angry and betrayed. He'd never seen that before and knew that he had made a very large mistake.

Sonny didn't have a chance to react before Brenda's fist collided with his cheek. Sonny wasn't the only shocked one that it was more than a slap. Carly, Jax and Lois all stood shocked. Miguel smiled, satisfied that she took the position of bad guy and saved his crystal reputation.

"If you ever come near me or any of my artists again, or interfere in any way with my company, I'll file a lawsuit for harassment and a restraining order against you," Brenda hissed at him. "That goes for you too," Brenda said looking at Carly whose smirk faded instantly. "Lois will you take Miguel back upstairs, please," Brenda suggested.

"I'm not leaving you here with him," Miguel said.

"Just go," she told him, not taking her eyes off of Carly. As soon as they had walked off Brenda walked over to Carly.

"Brenda," Jax started.

"I don't even want to hear you speak," she told him. "You purposefully called Sonny to see what would happen if you told him that Miguel was here. You knew enough about mine and Sonny's past and just couldn't resist to see what would happen if you threw it back in our faces," Brenda said. Carly didn't acknowledge one way or another, what she had done. The look on Jax's face indicated he had no knowledge of it either.

"What happened?" Jason asked suddenly appearing at Sonny's side and seeing his cheek already red and starting to swell. Sonny didn't answer, his eyes only on Carly and Brenda.

"How Sonny or Jax or even Jason thought that you were a good and decent person with ethics is beyond me. You don't even deserve to be a mother to those two beautiful boys because with you around as an influence they will only grow up to be as inconsiderate and self absorbed as you are."

Brenda took a deep breath and for a second the world stood still. She didn't know what it was at first but suddenly a rush of pain spread over her body.

"Keri," she whispered. Instantly the girl was at her side. "I need Robin. Right now." Keri only nodded and opened her cell phone dialing a series of numbers.

"Brenda?" Jax questioned. She held up her hand to him as she felt the wave of pain again. She nearly doubled over this time as all three men crowded around her.

"What's wrong?" Sonny and Jax asked at the same time. For the first time, Carly felt bad for what she had done.

"Can you walk?" Jason whispered. She shook her head. "I'm going to pick you up and we're going to go upstairs."

"No," Brenda said.

"Yes." She couldn't argue with him anymore as his arm slid around her back and under her knees, easily picking her up.


	23. Chapter 23

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twenty-Three**

"What happened?" Lois asked when she finally opened the suite door and Jason walked in carrying Brenda.

"I don't know," Jason said. "She just doubled over." He followed Lois into one of the bedrooms and laid her on the bed. She curled up on her side.

"Bren," Lois said sitting down next to her. "What hurts?"

"My stomach."

"Okay, I want you to start taking some deep breaths," Lois said. "Did you call the doctor?"

"Keri's calling Robin."

Lois nodded and smiled softly. "How are you feeling? Still in pain?"

"A little," Brenda told her closing her eyes.

"Jason, can you go get a cold wash cloth?" he only nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. "Girlfriend, what in the world were you thinking down there?"

"I was thinking that Sonny just blamed Lily's death on me and that Carly was standing by watching it all," Brenda said defensively.

"Calm down. You need to stay relaxed." Lois brushed the hair off her cheek as Jason returned with the wash cloth.

"Where's Miguel?"

"He's hanging out with the boys. He's fine," Lois told him. "Lay here for a little bit and take deep breaths." Lois ushered Jason out of the room and closed the door behind them.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

Lois sighed, running her hands through her hair, and looked at him.

"She'll probably be fine. It's some mild cramping. That happened to me too when I got worked up." Lois looked at him. "She told you right?" He only nodded. "She doesn't want anything from you. She doesn't need your money or your support. She felt she had an obligation to tell you."

"And just walk away from my own kid?" Jason asked.

"I left Ned because his family wasn't what I wanted Brook to grow up around. Brenda is adamant that her child will not be a target for your enemies."

There was a knock on the door and Keri came in with Robin.

"Where is she?" Robin asked carrying a medical bag with her.

"In the bedroom resting," Lois told her as the bedroom door slowly opened and Brenda stepped out. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not laying in there alone while you guys talk about me out here," she said walking over to the couch and sitting down.

"How are you feeling?" Robin asked.

"Better. I think the pain is gone."

"Can you let me check you out?" she asked. Brenda only nodded as Robin sat on the edge of the coffee table and took out a blood pressure cuff.

"Can I have some ice?" Brenda asked.

"Why?" Robin asked.

"She punched Sonny," Lois told them. Jason looked at Brenda who desperately wanted to smile at her victory but didn't. "I'll get it."

"You punched Sonny?" Robin asked, not hiding her smile. "Why?"

"It doesn't matter. Except he deserved it and it felt so good to see the look on his face. And Carly's."

Robin reached into her bag and pulled out a very unfamiliar piece of equipment.

"What's that?" Brenda asked.

"Sit up and I'll show you," she said. Brenda complied and Robin stretched it around her back and fastened the Velcro pieces together. She shifted Brenda's tank top over the device and flipped on a switch. "Okay, let's see what we find." Almost instantly the static sound of a thump-thump was heard and she smiled. "That's the heartbeat."

Brenda couldn't help but smile. She also couldn't help but look up at Jason who stood slightly in awe.

"Good and steady heartbeat. A fighter," Robin told her as Lois handed over a bag of ice and Brenda rested it on her free hand.

"Thank you," Brenda whispered to Robin.

"You're welcome. As much as I hate it, I need to get back to the hospital. I don't want you moving. You need to rest. And keep that on for awhile. If you start having any more pain, come into the hospital." Brenda nodded as she hugged her friend.

Jason couldn't help but take her place next to Brenda.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

Lois and Keri took this as their cue to disappear. They followed Robin out into the hall to have a conversation of their own, considering the concert was tonight and Brenda wasn't likely to give up going.

"Yeah," she said.

He didn't ask her permission as he laid both his hands on her slightly round belly.

"You really want me to have nothing to do with it?" he asked looking up at her. She was surprised to see the tears forming in his eyes.

"It will be easier in the end for you to keep your distance than to have this baby taken from you later in life."

"How do you know?"

"Because no matter what, in your life, she would become a target and would get be killed, kidnapped or I would be forced to separate you."

"She?" he asked.

"Well, it's too soon to tell, but I can't call her it forever," Brenda said with half a smile.

"I can't just not be a part of my child's life," Jason told her.

"Hey, you are not going in there," they both heard Lois call before the door opened and Sonny walked in followed by Jax and Carly.

Jason and Brenda both looked over at them, his hands still gently on her stomach. The group stopped when they saw them sitting there.

"Leave," Jason told them as calmly as he could.

"That's a really great idea," Lois said.

"Brenda, I'm sorry," Sonny said.

She just stared at him, full of every emotion possible. The thump-thumps started to quicken in pace.

"Brenda," Robin said coming up next to Lois. "Calm down. I know it's hard but you need to."

Jason's hands gently rubbed her stomach.

"You're pregnant?" Carly blurted out causing them to all look at her.

The heartbeat slowed a little but still kept a faster pace than before. Brenda laid her hand over Jason's and he looked up at her.

"Go," she whispered.

"I'm not leaving."

"Take them with you," she told him before slowly standing up and walking past all of them into the bedroom, closing the door.

Jason finally stood, defeated. Sonny stopped him before he could get out the door. Jason pushed him away.

"This is your entire fault," he yelled before walking out of the room and nearly slamming the door shut on his way.

Sonny looked at Lois and Robin.

"I have to agree with Jason. Brenda's in this condition because of the two of you," Lois said. "But maybe this is what you want, Sonny. For Brenda to lose her baby because she caused Lily and your unborn baby's deaths?"

"You know I don't blame Brenda. I was upset and it just came out."

"Sometimes that's when the truth does," Robin pointed out. "She's only in town for another day. I'd stay away if I were you."


	24. Chapter 24

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twenty-Four**

Brenda sat alone in the dark room and stared at the moon, trying to ease the tears that kept falling down her cheeks. Four days ago, everything had been fine and perfect. Now, everything had changed.

Miguel's concert had been a hit, as she had expected. She listened to Robin's orders and didn't move unless she had to, which meant she was confined to a chair for most of the show. She had no one to blame but herself for the events that followed.

She ignored the slightest of pain for as long as she could before Robin noticed the apparently obvious pained expression on her face when they got back up to the room hours later. She insisted that Brenda go to the hospital to have tests run and be checked out.

"How are you doing?" Robin asked walking into the room where Lois was sitting with Brenda.

"Fine," Brenda said rubbing her hand over her belly.

"There's someone who wants to see you," Robin told her. Brenda looked at her questioningly before Monica opened the door and walked in. Brenda couldn't help but smile and tears slowly started to fill her eyes.

"We'll leave you two," Lois said as her and Robin slipped out of the room.

Monica sat down on the edge of Brenda's bed and smiled.

"I should have told you sooner," Brenda whispered. "You're going to be a grandma." Brenda laughed softly as Monica pulled her into a hug.

"How are you feeling?" Monica asked.

"Better now that the concert is over."

"Good. It's probably a good thing Robin made sure you came in because now we get to force you to sleep and rest and eat right."

Brenda laughed. "Listen, Monica. Nothing in the world means more to me right now than the fact that I'm going to be someone's mother. But I have an obligation to keep my child safe."

"Of course you do."

"Which is why it would be best that Jason is told that the baby didn't make it," Brenda continued.

Lois and Robin paced the outside halls waiting for Monica to come out from Brenda's room. Lois was more worried about the stress Miguel was feeling knowing that Brenda was in a hospital room and he wasn't allowed to see her. Lois had made that point very clear. The last thing Brenda needed was any stress and once word got out it was going to be hard enough keeping everyone else away.

Monica slowly closed the door to the private room and looked at them, only nodding.

"Is she okay?" Lois asked.

"She'll be fine. She just needs rest and to stay off her feet. Flying isn't an option."

"We can road trip it back to California," Lois told her.

"I want her to stay overnight and then see how things look in the morning, and then you can take her home."

"What about the other thing?" Robin asked.

"It's been taken care of. The two of you may have to deal with damage control, but your secret is safe with me," Monica said.

** I'm having a hard time finishing the story. I'm trying to wrap it up but would love some feedback of ideas from readers as to what they would like to see happen. Thanks for all the R&R. **


	25. Chapter 25

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**Twenty-Five**

Brenda refused to see Jason as much as he yelled outside the hospital room door. She didn't want to see the look in his eyes as she lied to him repeatedly. This was all for the best. She hated putting her best friends in the positions of having to lie to him as well, and keep up the charade in Port Charles, especially Robin, when she just got to leave.

He finally left which gave Brenda a very short window to escape with Lois. Robin was alone to manage by herself.

For months, Brenda didn't know what to think. Everyday she woke up excited that she was bringing a new life into the world, but whenever she thought of that, she realized on nearly impossible it would be for her to ever bring her baby to Port Charles to meet its family. Monica was eagerly awaiting the announcement, while Edward was left in the dark.

Rumors spread all the way to California. Apparently after Monica and Robin broke the news to Jason that Brenda had lost the baby, he went after Sonny and Carly. The fight apparently didn't end pretty, with Jason giving his so called resignation for Sonny's organization and companies immediately. It left him extremely vulnerable and shocked everyone. Especially when he suddenly disappeared a few days after.

For months news reports said that the organization went after Jason and disposed of him after worries that he would retaliate. That was never proved and eventually the harassment against Sonny slowed, except when it came to Carly. For the first time she actually played back that week in her head and realized the effect Lois's words had on her: _she holds your future in her hands_.

Lois knew Jason well enough to know that nothing would stand between him and his child. Carly not only took the first child he ever loved, away from him, but she started the chain reaction that led to Brenda's "miscarriage".

Brenda sat on her balcony patio with a cup of tea in her hands and watched all the people bustle around the city. She hated living a lie, more than she hated Carly. But if Jason left the organization because he blamed Sonny for the death of his child, maybe good things could still come out of the situation.

She glanced at her cell phone on the side table. Making the phone call was the easiest part.


	26. Chapter 26

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own these characters.

**A/N****: I have finally finished after what seems like forever. Thanks for all those who read and responded with great feedback!**

**Twenty-Six**

Jason pulled his vibrating phone out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. Seeing the unfamiliar number he flipped open his phone.

"Hello?"

"Jason? It's Lois."

"Hi Lois."

"I know this is kind of sudden and you probably weren't expecting a phone call from me. Do you think you can meet me at the hospital?" she asked.

When he walked in he wasn't sure what to think. Lois was extremely vague with the situation, only that Brenda needed him. He didn't want to actually admit that he was in the area searching for Brenda, so he lied and told Lois he was there on business for Sonny.

Brenda was lying sideways on a hospital bed, curled up underneath a pink fluffy robe that Lois probably brought for her. Lois was sitting next to the bed.

"Hey," she said when she saw him. Brenda glanced cautiously at him. "I'm going to let you two talk." Before Brenda could protest, Lois was out the door and Jason was left standing in the middle of the room.

Brenda slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked at him.

"Hi," she said softly. He just looked at her. "What did Lois tell you?"

"Just to come to the hospital because you were here."

"And you just came like that?" she asked. He shrugged. "It's never been a secret about how much of a screw up I can be. This conversation may be all the proof you need to hate me for the rest of your life. But in my defense, I was doing what I felt was best."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I didn't miscarry," she told him. "I was scared for the life of my child. After what Carly did to intentionally provoke me and how close I did come to actually losing her …" she trailed off.

"Her?" Jason asked.

"She was born yesterday before the sun even came up, if that's a sign," she half smiled. "Jason, I am so sorry. I didn't want to keep it from you. I picked up the phone so many times to call you and tell you."

"But you didn't."

"Which was cowardly. I lived that life as the wife and girlfriend, but I always did it alone. The second I saw what it could do to my child … our child … I had to protect it. I didn't want Sonny or Carly or anyone else in Port Charles having the ability to manipulate or harm my child. And keeping a secret like that could only hurt people more. So I didn't tell you the truth because it would have meant you lying to everyone."

"Why now?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't keep lying to myself and I didn't want to worry about what she would say when she found out that I lied to her father. I wanted the truth to be out before it hurt her anymore."

"What about hurting me?"

"It was a risk I had to take. I kept thinking it would be better that she didn't know you, then you being a part of her life and she being a target for some enemy."

"That's not an issue."

"It's always an issue. Why else would you keep your son's paternity a secret unless you were worried for his safety?"

"It's not an issue because I don't work for Sonny anymore," Jason told her.

It was her turn to be silent.

"A lot of stuff happened after you left. I told Sonny I was out and I left town. I haven't talked to him since. Carly calls me every since day hoping I will answer the phone. I do not consider them family anymore. I finally realized that Carly would never change."

"So, where does that leave us?" Brenda asked cautiously.

"I don't know. We have a lot of things we need to work though."

"I know," she said. "In the meantime, would you like to meet your daughter?" Brenda asked as Lois walked back into the room carrying a small pink bundle. Jason couldn't help but smile as Lois gently placed her in his arms and she yawned.

**A/N (2)****: I have some more stories in the works and want to know what people might be interested in most. Let me know what you might want to read. **

Option 1: Sonny & Jason find out Brenda is friends with Claudia Zacchara

Option 2: Brenda writes a memoir of her life and has a few secrets to share and few people are dying to find out


End file.
